Why, hello there little one.

THIS IS HAPPENING. Deep breaths. Oh. My. Word. I’m going to be a momma!

I can’t believe I just wrote those precious words. It’s hard to describe the absolute joy that is in my heart. My husband & I have been dreaming of the day we would start our family since we first fell in love. And it is finally happening! Now let's go back to the beginning...

My husband and I decided it was our time to start a family in February. We assumed it would take a few months before it actually happened and we made a conscious decision to not start methodically trying and let nature take it's course. However, it was important for us that I created a healthy environment for the sweet little bean to grow in for 40 weeks. So we visited my doctor, began taking prenatal vitamins, stopped birth control, eliminated alcohol from my diet, and decreased my caffeine intake from 5 cups of tea to 1 cup  a day (the Brit in me had a major meltdown). Two weeks after beginning these transitions I started feeling... strange. My lower back started aching, I had dizzy spells, and I just didn't feel like myself. It took me about 30 seconds to convince myself that I was pregnant! My husband thought I was crazy, naturally, but I just felt it. It was way too early to take a pregnancy test so it was a waiting game for the next 7 days til I could start early testing.

On that 7th day when I bought my first ever supply of pregnancy tests (I felt like such a grown up!) and waited for the results, I had this rush of panic... What if I wasn't? Would I be disappointed? Would I question our no-try method? How would my husband feel? Deep breaths, deep breaths...

That rush was taken over by overwhelming joy and emotion when I looked down at the digital pregnant test that said "Pregnant!" I screamed to my husband, tears flooding my eyes and we both were in total disbelief. It didn't feel real, so I decided to take another a few hours later just to be sure. I must've inhaled 48oz of water in 10 minutes because those few hours turned into 20 minutes when I was back at it again. At this point I was jumping up & down in pure bliss! We stared at the test, waiting for the confirmation that our dream had come true. And there it was... "Not Pregnant." It was like someone had ripped my heart out. Those gigantic smiles across our faces disappeared and our dream was crushed. We were beyond confused. I was determined to take another test but my husband convinced me to wait and take a blood test with my doctor for guaranteed results. It was Sunday. The longest Sunday ever.

On Monday morning I spoke with my doctor who suggested I wait until my menstrual cycle was due to begin that Tuesday to come in for an appointment. This would ensure that the results would pick up on my hormone levels. During that phone call, after I explained our situation, she informed me that it could've been 1 of 3 things. One, a defective pregnancy test. Two, my hormone levels were too low for my 2nd test, especially after diluting my urine with so much water. Or three, a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage). The third option was heartbreaking, but very common apparently. If you know me at all, you may know that I am quite the worry wart. The idea of a chemical pregnancy would be the 1st of a slew of worries that were sure to come with my pregnancy and having a child. It made everything very real.

Tuesday arrived but my period did not (thankfully!) so it was time to get my bloodwork. I was told it would take up to 48 hours for my results to get back. 48 hours of nerves, fears, and confusion. On Wednesday, March 26th I got the call. The words "Congratulations! You are pregnant," made my whole world stop. I soaked that moment in and held onto it. It was true. Our little bean was growing in my body. Thank you, God.
You may be wondering how my husband responded to this news... Well, I decided to tell him in a more creative way. I cannot wait to share that story, along with my other pregnancy reveals soon!

XO Krista

P.S. Our babymoon/birthday trip has been incredible so far! I can't believe how beautiful this island is and we are already planning trips to return with our little bean. It's paradise. And fortunately, my husband loves to sleep in so I have been spending my morning out on our deck writing in my journal and on this blog. It's turning into a delightful and therapeutic experience. Vacation is giving me so much time to reflect and this blog allows me to document those thoughts. So although I said I may not post often while away, I do believe I'll be able to share some of my most personal reflections during this time. Thanks for joining me.