A Letter To My Son

I wanted to write this letter to my first born.He came into my life at such an unexpected time. Yet, the timing couldn't have been more perfect. Although so many were so scared and concerned for me, I was not. I believe God's plan for us is only to make us not only stronger, but to become closer to Him. At a time where I could have been scared out of my mind, I was at peace. I never question God's plan. I know that no matter what everything will be just fine. Who knows where I would be had I not been blessed with such an angel 13 years ago. I believe that my son saved me and made me...me. This letter is just so he knows how much he has brought into my life. We have been through a lot together...good times and some pretty tough times. I'm so thankful I made it through those times with him. He will always be my first true love...

Dear Jalen,

I was 17 and a senior in high school. I was happy, outgoing, and excited about life. I had plans and dreams for myself that I was so eager to begin. Life was great. Then one day,  I was stunned with the shock of my life. I was going to be a mother. Surprisingly, I wasn't scared. I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry. More than anything I was overjoyed. I've always lived with the mindset that everything will be okay, no matter the situation. Seeing those 2 lines that day, made me feel more filled with life and excited for what was to come. I remember looking out my window, staring at the sky, and saying "Thank you God. I can do this." No longer would I dream for myself, but I would dream for this child that I was carrying.

 As each day, week, and month passed by I grew more and more in love with you. I couldn't wait to meet you. Then finally, on a cold day in February you were ready to meet me. From the moment we caught eyes I experienced a love that I know I could never explain. A love that can never be replaced. Yes, I was young. Meeting you and becoming your mother has made me into the woman I am today.

 Our 13 years together have been the most incredible and life changing years. You have taught me so much about forgiveness, patience, love, selflessness, and so much more than you could ever know. I can never repay you for all that you have brought into my life. Watching you grow into the young man you are today has been pure joy. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You have such a gentle soul and silly personality. I love laughing and joking with you every day. I love teasing each other and hearing that hilarious laugh you have. 

You are such an incredible brother. I'll never forget the day you came to visit me in the hospital after I had Tatum. You were 6 years old and a brother for the first time! Your eyes lit up and your smile was so wide and beautiful. Tatum had to go with the nurse to have his first bath.  You begged to accompany her because you didn't want to leave his side. Tatum cried from the bath. You looked at your father with tears in your eyes. You said, "Why is mommy's baby crying?"  From that moment on you were his protector and hero. Not a day would go by where you wouldn't kiss him multiple times out of pure love. You are his idol and his best friend. 

The day I came home with Leila, your heart seemed to grow even bigger. You also couldn't resist kissing her multiple times a day. You were so gentle with her. Your bond has grown so much with your brother and sister. Leila beams with excitement whenever you walk through the door. Tatum wants to do anything and everything you do. So much of who they are is because of you. 

I am so glad God chose me to be your mother. I am so thankful he chose you for me when he did. The timing was perfect. My life would not be what it is today without you in it. I would not be who I am had we not met eyes on that cold day in February 13 years ago. You are one of my special blessings that I will always and forever hold onto and never let go. My first true love. Thank you. 

Love,
Mommy 


(Tierra)